Thursday, March 29, 2012

America's Next Top Model

I would like to personally give my little cousin Ally a super shout out for actually making it to the second preliminary tryout for America's Next Top Model! You go girl! I wish you the best in ALL of your future endeavors and just know that your cousin loves you! You are young, classy, and beautiful and you can be anything you want to be. I know soon you'll be doing high fashion/runway modeling and or print very soon. Keep up the good work!


Your big cousin "Kiki"

Friday, March 23, 2012

More Money More Problems

For the last couple of weeks I've toured three different cities here in the south. I must say that my tour so far has been quite successful outside of other disturbing ridiculously AGITATING influences that have arisen. First and foremost, those of you who know me personally know that I'm a very caring, generous, and resourceful person. If you're good to me then I'm good to you.

A certain on again off again provider that I've known for quite some time now needed a helping hand. She called me up out of the blue and literally told me of all her recent financial hardships. She'd been out of the business for a few years now at the age of 38 years because she fell in love with a client who promised her the world and she was now in college. Mind you that this man is married and I'm almost certain that he has seen several different escorts here in Atlanta. She told me that she was flat broke and needed to make some money because her car was in danger of getting repossessed due to a title loan that she could no longer afford to make the payments on and that she'd just paid her rent. I asked her where was this guy that she referred to as her husband and why couldn't he fork over the money. She said that it was her fault for pawning the title to her car and that he did enough for her already. I asked her what was considered enough financially as far as him and she said he paid her rent and utilities. At this point I wanted to curse her ass out and tell her how dumb she was but I just held my tongue for the moment. I told her that she was welcome to come along with me on the road so that she could get her shit back in order. Why did I do that?

I arrived in the first city as scheduled but a day before her because she didn't have the money to get there and T-Mobile cut her cellphone off so I couldn't get in touch with her before I mashed out. I initially told her not to worry and that I'd gas her car up and pay for her room just pay me back once you start making money. Her pride wouldn't allow it so she was able to come down a day later after supposedly pawning some jewelry that she has stashed away. From the time I posted and once I arrived at my destination I was swamped with calls and appointments so I'm like "ok cool just call me when you get here." She called early the next day and asked how business was and I told her superb. When she finally did arrive and posted she slowly but surely started making progress but I could tell by her attitude she was a bit jealous of me due to the repeated amount of cash flow that I was experiencing. She said that she liked my car and I told her that I liked hers too. I took this girl to breakfast, lunch, and dinner without missing a beat cause I never worry about money. She started with the comments like we need to share a room because I'm not making the amount of money that you are, girl you're spending to much money here on misc. etc." I told her that I worked too hard and that I have children to support and I'm in school full time so I owe it to myself. So she was like ok whatever. Basically this first trip was terrible for her because she was actually using old pictures of herself to advertise her services, but she was about 40 lbs. heavier now. About half of the guys who came to see her either walked out because they said that her pictures didn't represent her physique or tried to low ball her so she was furious and ready to leave. Eventually when I was ready to go we left and headed back to Atlanta. She said she'd never return there but I said I would.

The next city we toured was Savannah which was even more lucrative for me than the last city but still the same situation with her. This time she begged me to leave my car in Atlanta at her complex and that we should just take one vehicle so she didn't have to spend much in gas. I explained to this chick that I felt naked without my car and that we should take separate rides just because. She assured me that she wanted to stay the full five days because she still owed the title pawn people a couple of hundred dollars. So we took her car down there and we got pulled over in some rural city about thirty minutes north of Savannah due to her speeding. We finally arrived in Savannah and booked our rooms and the calls began. She ended up getting mad at me because she saw that I was making more money than her and I was also getting VIP clients as well. I could tell she was really pissed off when a local D-boy by the name of Butter came to see me and spent a good sum of time and money with me. He invited both of us out with him and his friend to a bar out on Tybee Island. Honestly, I really didn't want her to come because I just had to tell her ass off earlier that day while we were having dinner at LongHorn. She stressed to me at dinner how she was ready to leave because she wasn't making the money she expected and I lost it at that point. I told her about herself and that pathetic ass trick she was dealing with back in Atlanta and how she needed to get her mind right. He'd been calling and texting her from the time we got there but the mothafucka didn't want to drop those coins in order to get her out of the bind that she was in. She goes "Even if I lose this car I bet you I'll have a brand new Jag paid for in cash cause ya know I don't do car notes," trying to hint at me LOL. She also contends that if she'd used new photos and not her old ones that she'd made just as much or more than me on both trips! LOL. I'm like yeah ok.

We finally got out to Tybee Island with Butter and his friend. We decided to go to this bar right off the beach and do karaoke and have drinks. When we left the bar, me and Butter walked the beach and the pier together talking. Her and his friend had other plans to have sex of the beach I guess LOL. About an hour later I get a call from her saying, "Poca you and Butter lets ride, this mothafucka just tried me and I ain't the mothafuckin one!" I'm like omfg this is a fuckin nightmare! Come to find out they started having sex on the beach and she said she thought the cash he gave her was the $350 she requested but instead it was $50 and she threw his leather jacket in the ocean LOL! So they in the backseat arguing and threatening each other while me and Butter in the front just like WTF! We dropped his friend back off to his car and then we pulled back into our hotel. Butter wanted to spend more time with me but she was like I'm leaving. She tells Butter, "I'm sure she's gonna blog about everything that happened down here but I really don't give a fuck!" I'm like you damn right bitch. To make a long story short, I left with her even though Butter insisted that he would pay her what his friend owed her and or pay for me a rental car so I could stay until Sunday. I decided against it and told him that I'd be back in a couple of days but I had to go back to Atlanta to get my car. On our ride back we exchanged a few words and that was it for the next four hours back up to Atlanta. She contends that she only really went on tour with me to see if she still had it! LOL! When we got to her complex I unloaded my bags from her truck to my car and she tried to hand me the cake she bought me for my birthday and I'm like "I'm good, you can keep that." The bitch got infuriated and threw the cake in the middle of HER parking lot so I drove off and threw up the deuces on that hoe!

Monday, March 5, 2012

A Promi$e is a Promi$e!

I must say that I really enjoyed my business trip to Macon. The country boy$ were polite, the money was spectacular, and the food was good but everyone knows that it only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch. I usually travel alone because I'm just funny about the type of company, especially female, I keep. I decided to travel with my girl Promise, a long-time friend and escort here in Atlanta. Promise and I have been friends since I got into the business and she is one of the ORIGINAL Craigslist girl$ from here in Atlanta so it was all "G."

The guy you see in the picture called Promise up for a meet n' greet and was at the hotel room within minutes, although she told him to give her at least half and hour to get dressed. I happened to already be in the room with her when he pulls up to the hotel. I was about to leave when we hear a knock on the door. I dashed into the bathroom and closed the door. I hear them talking so I'm sitting on the toilet on the laptop just surfing the internet. The next thing I know is I hear a pleasant conversation turn into a vulgar one instantly so I immediately come out the bathroom and sit on the jacuzzi. Come to find out this negro decided that he was gonna show up without bringing any money and demand her services for a hour and go to the car after services were already rendered! BIG MISTAKE!

The guy told Promise that his superiors in the military told him to follow a certain procedure with the girls on Backpage. HUGE MISTAKE! He said they told him to walk in with no cash on him just to make sure that she was actually the girl in the photos and to go ahead and handle his business and then go back to the car to get the money! When this shit came out his mouth all I could do was sit back and watch this situation unfold before me. (Remember I'm just summing this story up for ya'll but the language and the environment in this particular situation was quite graphic and blatantly demanding) Promise informed this young guy that not only was he gonna pay her upfront but when he paid her he had to go just off him trying to play her. All he said to her the ENTIRE time was "Yes ma'am" "No ma'am" This young cat's eyes got big as 8-balls and his body along with his voice started shaking. She made him give up his wallet, car keys, and told him that he wasn't going nowhere LOL! She had this nigga backed into a corner for at least ten minutes snappin hard on this dude. I kind of felt sorry for him but I wanted to laugh at the same time though but I decided against it. The guy kept looking at me like "aren't you gonna do something" "ain't you gonna get your girl."

The entire time his so called brother kept calling him asking him where he was at and if he was okay. He continued to assure him that everything was all good and to please stop ringing his phone. I think his brother knew something was wrong because of the tone of his little brother's voice. At this point, Promise pulled out her piece and told the nigga to tell his bro he could join him too LOL! Finally she escorted him outside to his car where he paid her the money and he began to leave. Before he left and she gave him his keys back she had to get a good ID on him and his tag LOL! As she raised her camera phone to take the picture he turned away and I heard her scream "Turn around nigga!" She took this photo of him and took one of his tag and then gave him the keys where he immediately burnt rubber! Later on that night, a guy called, I think one of his homies, saying he wanted to apologize on behalf of ALL the bad $eeds in Macon and to just leave it alone!

WORD TO THE WISE: You can never slick a slickster, especially a TRU ATLien. His military buddies sent him on a dummy mission and the trick was on him!